Postgame P: Cataracts, spilled soup and Doomer Dad’s debut

As a child, I occupied my free time with two primary exploits: sports and reading. And I especially enjoyed whatever occasion upon which those two diversions intersected, particularly in the wintertime. When several inches of snow blanketed the Nebraska cornfields, I’d make the most of my family’s weekly trips to the public library. I’d load up a handbasket with anywhere from 20 to 35 sports books, some of which were new additions to the library and some of which I’d already perused over and over. I’d grab some athlete biographies, some fiction novels, retrospectives on famed teams and venues, and everything in between.

As I advanced into the early teen years, family members and friends would offer me sports books from their personal collections, and I’d devour them in mere hours. I found some of them so alluring that I’d request permission to hang on to them for weeks, even months. As a left-handed pitcher and a Los Angeles Dodgers fan by birth, one book that particularly struck my fancy was a biography of Sandy Koufax that my grandfather lent me. Because my grandfather was in his early seventies at the time and Koufax had been retired for nearly half a century, the book was naturally of the large-print variety. After all, the Venn diagram of People Suffering From Cataracts and People Interested in Sandy Koufax’s Life and Career is darn near a single circle. Anachronistic as I am, though, I became enamored with Koufax’s story, and I wore out the book’s binding as I leafed through it time and again.

One of the more memorable lines in the book is a quote from Koufax himself, and it’s directly applicable to Oklahoma’s 66-17 victory over Tulsa this weekend. Koufax is a Jew, and remains one of the more prominent Jewish athletes in history. At one point in the book, Koufax contextually expounds upon the meaning of the Yiddish words “schlemiel” and “schlemazel,” words that may actually be familiar to a reader who’s old enough to recall the 1970’s sitcom Laverne & Shirley.

“In Yiddish,” he explained, “a schlemiel is someone who spills soup on people. A schlemazel is someone who has soup spilled on him.”

College football had more than its share of schlemiels and schlemazels yesterday. Top-ranked Georgia looked less than invincible, and had to rally from a double-digit halftime deficit to forge past South Carolina at home. Third-ranked Florida State nearly choked away a 21-point third-quarter lead, and only an inexplicable missed extra point gave them the necessary leeway in a 31-29 victory over Boston College. Yes, the Bulldogs and Seminoles survived. But they spilled a lot of soup in the process.

Even so, they were better off than the schlemazels, not the least of which was Kansas State. The fifteenth-ranked Wildcats fell to Missouri on a 61-yard field goal at the horn, the longest game-winning kick in SEC history. This was the same Missouri team that barely squeaked past Middle Tennessee one week earlier, the same Missouri team that lost 40-12 in Manhattan last season. Eleventh-ranked Tennessee had every reason to believe their 20-year winless drought in the Swamp would end yesterday. Instead, the unranked Gators outclassed the Vols from start to finish, racing out to a 26-7 halftime advantage and coasting to a 29-16 victory. That’s not even the half of it; the great Perd Hapley will fill you in on the nation’s other schlemiels and schlemazels later in the column.

But the point here should be pretty obvious: on a day that brought widespread havoc across college football, the Sooners could have been a schlemiel. They could have stumbled and bumbled and spilled their soup en route to a patently ugly victory over an inferior opponent.

And there’s a world in which they could have been a schlemazel. They could have sleepwalked up to Green Country and replicated the events of 1996 (yes, Tulsa beat Oklahoma that year — look it up if you’re not of a certain age). Kevin Wilson could have caught his old office mates off guard and rolled out an offensive gameplan that befuddled an unprepared Sooner defense. And all things considered, it wouldn’t even have been the day’s most shocking loss by a Power 5 team from the state of Oklahoma. Yes, we’ll get to the Stillwater Nepotism Experiment in due time, but let’s talk about the state’s flagship football institution for the moment.

Oklahoma is 3-0. They’re outscoring opponents by a combined margin of 167-28. That puts them third in the country in scoring offense, and fifth in the country in scoring defense. They’re also tied for fourth in the nation in turnover margin. Care to guess how many other programs occupy the national top five in all three of the aforementioned categories? Not a one. And naturally, all of this comes with the obvious caveat that the Sooners haven’t really faced a real challenge yet. But it’s okay to take everything with a grain of salt and still acknowledge that this team has been impressive. We haven’t seen Oklahoma pummel opponents indiscriminately in this fashion for a while. Last season, they nearly let Kent State walk to the Owen Field locker rooms with a halftime lead. In 2021, they went down to the wire with a Tulane team that would finish 2-10 on the year. Even the fabled 2017 Sooners had to go all 60 minutes with an eventual 1-11 Baylor squad, and that electric 2018 group went to overtime with Army — they of the triple-option offense, lest we forget.

Very few teams in the country have simply handled their business with authority over the first three weeks of the season. Oklahoma is one of the few. And there’s something to be said for that. However, we have to start with the bad and the ugly every week, so let’s jump into the cesspool of negativity…

— Why in the name of all that is holy is Jackson Arnold lining up at wide receiver? Yes, I’m fully aware that the Sooners eventually dialed up a trick play that called for Arnold to throw a pass off a reverse. And I’m not nearly as bewildered by Arnold’s short-yardage deployment as others. But did everyone else see the cheap shot Travis Hunter took last night? When you’re the most ballyhooed player on the football field, there’s a target on your back. That’s not to say there’s some sort of Gregg Williams bounty on Arnold’s head, but naturally, every defender would much rather lay a piercing hit on the five-star wunderkind than just about anybody else in his shoes. That’s a basic principle of sports. If you’re a basketball player, you’d prefer to posterize the tallest kid on the court. If you’re a pitcher, you’d prefer to strike out the other team’s slugger. If you’re a wrestler, you aspire to pin the defending state champion. Jackson Arnold is the future face of Oklahoma football, and that’s not one man’s opinion. That’s a reality that’s been stated verbatim by both Jeff Lebby and Brent Venables.

— Coverage busts are not an encouraging or welcome sight, and the Sooners had a few too many of them on Saturday. Reggie Pearson was out of position multiple times, Makari Vickers got burned on a missed assignment for a Tulsa touchdown, and there were too many Tulsa receivers running wide open in general. Granted, the Sooners picked off five passes, which helped compensate for some of the poor positional play in the defensive backfield. It was the first time since 2003 that Oklahoma recorded five interceptions as a team, and they would have had a sixth if a pre-snap penalty hadn’t nullified a pick from PJ Adebawore. But freebies aren’t going to abound when Quinn Ewers or John Rhys Plumlee or even Kedon Slovis is in command. It will no doubt be a focus of film study this week, and the Sooner staff will take the necessary steps on the practice field to tighten up some of those execution issues in the secondary. So it’s not something I would categorize as a problem based off of one streaky game, but it’s definitely something of a red flag.

— On the tail end of a huge return, Jalil Farooq fumbled the opening kickoff, which was very quickly forgotten when Gentry Williams killed Tulsa’s ensuing drive with an interception and Farooq swiftly redeemed himself with a touchdown catch. In the grand scheme of things, the fumble didn’t cost Oklahoma in this game. But a careless early mistake, one that was no doubt influenced by adrenaline, could be costly down the line. This isn’t exclusive to fumbled kickoffs, but let’s just say the Sooners cough up the opening kick against Texas or even Kansas. Especially on the road, the momentum shift that can (and will) occur after such a play could keep Oklahoma listing for quite a while. They don’t have many more opponents on this schedule who will simply give the ball right back.

— Dillon Gabriel for Heisman? He’s got the vocal approval of his top wideout. I don’t know if the southpaw ends up in New York City come December, but you couldn’t have drawn up a much stronger start for the Sooners’ redshirt senior signal-caller. Through three games, Gabriel has accounted for 12 total touchdowns to just one turnover. He also shattered the school’s single-game record for completion percentage against Arkansas State… and then he broke his own newly established record yesterday. Even his lone interception warrants absolution — he was hit mid-release on a downfield shot to Gavin Freeman, and there’s a very strong argument that Freeman was a victim of pass interference on the play. Gabriel started similarly hot in nonconference play last year before regressing a bit when matched up with Big 12 defenses, so he’ll have to sustain this level of play for a few more games to truly cement himself as a Heisman candidate. But he’s been undeniably excellent to this point, and yesterday was among the best overall performances of his collegiate career. He also got a money off his back in beating Tulsa, as he’d gone 0-2 against the Golden Hurricane during his time at UCF.

— There’s a reason I spent all offseason telling each and every one of you to buy your Nic Anderson stock by the truckload. It is human nature to take joy and pride in being proven right, so I’ll admit I was as stoked as anybody to see the redshirt freshman wideout carpe some major diem yesterday. Three catches for 120 yards and three touchdowns is straight out of the Randy Moss handbook. He’s the first freshman wideout in program history to find paydirt three times in the same game, and for my money, he just earned himself a much larger chunk of the action in the passing game moving forward. It’s one thing to rip off one long catch and run for a touchdown. That can very easily prove to be an aberration in time. But it’s hard to diminish it or explain it away when a guy does it three times in the same afternoon.

— It’s worth mentioning a second time: the Sooners intercepted five passes yesterday. Yes, it was Tulsa. But as Brent Venables pointed out in his postgame presser, the Sooners squandered a zillion opportunities to create turnovers a season ago, and it really didn’t matter who the opponent was. Heck, that wasn’t an issue that was exclusive to 2022. I’m sure many of you can recall Patrick Fields dropping three interceptions in the same game back in 2021. So as I see things, it doesn’t really matter who’s across the sideline. What matters is that when presented with opportunities to create turnovers, the Sooners are capitalizing, which is more than can be said for past iterations of this football team.

In this new addition to the column, Parker’s father, a known OU football doomer and Uncle Rico-esque former high school quarterback, speaks via in-game text messages on behalf of the fans who tend towards a nonconformist perspective on the Sooners.

On the gameplan: Apparently Lebby finally found the playbook… Where were all these plays last week

On the QB situation: The worst pass JFA throws is as good as the best pass Dillon throws... JFA’s throw into double coverage in the end zone on the trick play in the third quarter was actually an amazing ball

A rare instance of positivity: Danny Stutsman is a BALLER… as long as he’s on the field we’re going to be OK

Fear thou the Mighty Quinn: Secondary had some issues today which I assume were youth and inexperience… But if we have blown coverages like that against Texas we are screwed

The ceiling is the roof: Dillon Gabriel is at his best on crossing routes and out routes… His deep balls just aren’t very good… I know he had a great game and he deserves credit for his performance… But he’s just not the long ball threat that’s going to win big games

Stevieg22: When can we start thinking this team is special?

October 7, Stevie. October 7 circa three o’clock in the afternoon.

Boomsoon22: What is limiting the run game for OU? Three games in and the longest run is no longer than 30 yards i feel.

It’s just a really boring run game right now. As this offense opens things up and gets more creative, I think you’ll start to see this team rip off some big runs. But because they haven’t really been challenged and have had no real reason to fully cut loose with play-calling, I’m willing to write their doldrums off for the time being. Cincinnati has a strong front four and will be a good litmus test for this run game. But the offensive line and the rushing attack hasn’t been a legitimate problem at Oklahoma in years — decades, even. I don’t think this year will be any different in that regard.

Soonerthan2025: What are we doing in the RB/WR room? Why do guys play one game, then sit out the next?

Tawee Walker getting zero carries was odd, but I have no major issue with wideout usage through three weeks. Brent Venables said the Sooners weren’t trying to make a conscious effort to keep Walker off the field; conversely, it was a concerted effort to get Jovantae Barnes and Gavin Sawchuk back up to game speed. Again, there’s a lot of experimentation going on right now. The Sooners probably won’t need to have a cut-and-dried recipe until they go to Dallas next month. So it’s not a preeminent concern of mine, and I think when push comes to shove and the Sooners are playing teams that can actually hang with them, the best and most proven players on the roster will be the ones that see the crunch-time action. Until then, I don’t have any problem with Venables and Jeff Lebby mixing and matching at will.

Mattdj2002: Which is the worst local specialty in the conference and why is it Cincinnati “chili”?

I have never been to Cincinnati, nor have I partaken of Skyline chili. I will not be going out of my way this weekend to get my Skyline fix. But if a natural opportunity arises for me to sample this regional delicacy (assuming “delicacy” is an acceptable word), I’ll be very intrigued to see what the stuff actually tastes like. Its reputation is not sterling, at least among folks that have described it to me.

bdubs6291: After watching both Bama and Texas play this week, as well as KState losing, it LOOKS like OU may be the best team in the big 12. Thoughts?

It LOOKED like OU was far and away the best team in the Big 12 at this time last year too. I’m not saying we’re in for a repeat of 2022, but what I am saying is that we should probably keep the horse in front of the cart here. They’ve looked good through three games, and there’s no denying that. There’s also no denying that we don’t have much of a true barometer for their actual talent level.

sooner48: We still need more pass rush if we have any chance of winning big 12! Any chance Trace Ford gets more reps?

Homie, if there’s one guy that needs to be getting more reps off the edge, it’s PJ Add-ee-BAH-woh-ruh. I’m not even convinced he knows how to say his last name at this point, because his older brother used a completely different pronunciation in an interview a few years back. And PJ himself pronounced it quite differently at the Future50 last year. But that’s the only controversy to be had right now surrounding that kid, because nobody can dispute how gifted he is. He’s already a force off the edge and still has loads of room to get better. He recorded his first career sack in the third quarter yesterday, and I’d have to check the snap count, but I’d figure he got more snaps at edge than any other edge guy save for Ford. And they weren’t just garbage-time snaps, either.

Ca-Sooner: DG is 66 of 80 with 11 TD’s and 1 INT. Consider the competition but those are outstanding numbers that far exceed his previous results. Is the improvement all on DG or are his receivers playing at a much higher level this year?

Chicken or the egg, right? It seems pretty mutual to me. Yes, Gabriel is demonstrating more sharpness as a passer than he did last season, and he’s also benefited from better play amongst his receivers. He ought to treat Emmett Jones to some surf-and-turf at season’s end, because it’s not difficult to see Jones’ influence in the way these receivers have played. They’re more confident, more aggressive and more polished — and they’re more physical as blockers, too.

Ok-Boomer: Why should we/why should we not be worried about the 12 missed tackles in this game?

It’s not a terribly nuanced answer, but I’d say you shouldn’t be worried because the Sooners pretty much emptied the bench in the second half. That wasn’t your A-team from start to finish on the defensive side of the ball. So I’m not too concerned when a couple third-teamers miss tackles, because those guys won’t be playing meaningful snaps when it’s time to go toe-to-toe with the big boys.

SoonerVet1: Should we be concerned about McKenzie not getting a lot of run? Is he not ready? Seems he only plays when the game is out of reach. I may be wrong and haven't looked at the snap count but I haven't noticed him playing

Are you a military veteran or a veterinarian, SoonerVet1? Either way, thank you for your service. And no, I would not be concerned about McKinzie’s lack of overall playing time through three games, because I think it speaks to how confident Oklahoma is in Danny Stutsman, Jaren Kanak and Kip Lewis. And to their credit, all three of those men have done plenty to validate that confidence. That said, you’ll still see McKinzie. He’s not going to just ride pine for the next two months.

LD2123: Suggestion - PJ, Bowen, Halton, and Coe need to be on the field more

Not a question, but I’ll accept it, because you’re right. I’m not sure there is a player on either side of the ball who has been as quietly outstanding through three games as Gracen Halton. He’s been continually disruptive and has had no trouble infiltrating backfields.

taylorladwig11: Why isn’t Lebby fired, DG benched, Bates fired, and every single 18 year old true freshman starting right now?

Because no one is as smart as message board geniuses. That’s why they have such a popular and influential Twitter account.

Ted Roof, on keeping the pedal to the metal in lopsided games: “It’s fantastic for our guys to understand that’s the standard here at Oklahoma. We don’t have one standard for one group and another standard for another group. The standard applies to everybody, including us as coaches. I was pleased with that because guys took pride in that.”

We are going to willfully ignore context for just a moment in order to acknowledge the fact that Terrence Edwin Roof is coordinating a top-five unit in college football right now. That’s some pretty impressive moonlighting from Steve Martin’s stunt double.

Dillon Gabriel, on Jalil Farooq’s turnaround day after his opening fumble: “It’s funny because he’s a guy who really does have a short memory. He is able to bounce back and flush it and you can see it in those two plays that he put together. And finishing like that is testament of who he is and how he works.”

Boom, there it is. Jalil Farooq officially has a nickname, and it is Goldfish. In all seriousness, that’s the type of resolve that speaks to the culture shift at Oklahoma on a broad scale. This is a mentally tougher team — and these are mentally tougher individuals — than Oklahoma has possessed in the past.

PJ Adebawore, on his first career sack and the subsequent moment with Miguel Chavis: “He was just very, very proud of me. You know with me being a freshman, it’s been two games and third game in, got [a sack]. He was just very happy because he was there from the start. I got here in the spring and he’s just been with me through it all. Been able to see how I progress, so for him to see that, it was great. Big for him and he just wanted to share that moment with me.”

Adebawore and Chavis’ relationship is truly a special bond, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a player and coach on the Oklahoma roster who are as tight as those two. After ascending to five-star status last fall, Adebawore could have bailed on a floundering Oklahoma program and a first-year position coach at any given moment. Ohio State, Notre Dame and Georgia were among the programs that pushed to flip him as the Sooners struggled through a 6-7 campaign, but Adebawore never flinched and was totally dismissive of any notion that he’d renege on his commitment to Oklahoma. A year later, he’s now become the first of Chavis’ recruits to record a collegiate sack. That one likely meant a good deal to everybody involved.

Jaren Kanak, on why this year’s 3-0 is different from last year’s 3-0: “We still have a much bigger holistic understanding of the defense this year, you know, compared to last year. When you know more and know more what’s going on, it’s easier to fly around and make plays and understand why things are happening… We’re kind of having a 1-0 mindset this year. Focus on us, focus on what we do and going 1-0 every week, and not letting the record or the noise affect us or anything. Just focus on doing our thing and getting this defense, like I said, to where we know it can be.”

I don’t know what’s more impressive here: such ingrained and effortless coachspeak from a 20-year-old, or the fact that Kanak used the word “holistic,” which is a word that 80 percent of college students in America have never used in their life.

Jeff Lebby, on why the running game struggled: “At times we were good. We weren't great all day. I didn't get into much of a rhythm running the ball because, again, the plan was to throw it all over the yard. It really was because — again, matchups, and how we felt about the protection piece of it. And that's what we ended up doing.”

So there you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth. The Sooners wanted to establish the pass more than the run on Saturday, and that’s exactly what they did. If you read between the lines in Lebby’s comments, he’s not completely thrilled with the run game’s performance, but a heavy lean toward the aerial attack was by design. React and respond accordingly.

— If you’ll indulge me, let’s return to the schlemiels and schlemazels for a moment. Do we have any idea who’s actually good? Because it might be time to re-evaluate everything you think you know about the power dynamics in college football. Fresh off a resounding road win at Alabama, Texas went to the fourth quarter tied at 10 with Wyoming — at Darrell K. Royal Stadium, no less. Meanwhile, the Crimson Tide followed up last weekend’s brutal defeat by turning in an absolute clunker in Tampa. In relief of Jalen Milroe, Tyler Buchner was unsurprisingly terrible at quarterback before Nick Saban turned to third-stringer Ty Simpson to try and jumpstart the offense. Saban’s squad eventually pulled away from a resilient South Florida team, but a final score of 17-3 doesn’t exactly inspire confidence that Bama’s loss to the Longhorns was a one-off blip. Central Michigan hung around with Notre Dame for much longer than is realistically permissible, and an also-ran Mountain West team led by a former Oklahoma assistant almost ended the joyride for college football’s most trendy team. In fact, let’s talk about that for a second…

— Jay Norvell had onions all week… until the moment he needed those onions the most. The former Oklahoma wide receivers coach, who’s in his second year as the head man at Colorado State, led his team into Boulder as a 24-point underdog. And he had every opportunity to send a capacity crowd at Folsom Field shuffling out of the venue in stunned (stoned?) silence. The Rams led 28-17 in the final quarter and 28-20 with just over two minutes to play, and all they had to do was not let the Buffs go 98 yards for a touchdown and a subsequent two-point conversion to tie the game. But, in the words of Joe Exotic, “Guess what, MF?”

But even so, Norvell could have walked away a winner at the conclusion of the first overtime period. Heck, Deion Sanders gift-wrapped the opportunity for him! In a virtually unprecedented display of chutzpah, Colorado won the overtime coin toss and chose to play offense first. The Buffs scored to take a 35-28 lead, but Colorado State quickly answered with a touchdown of its own. Evidently ready and willing to cap a career night with a kill shot, sophomore quarterback Brayden Fowler-Nicolosi lingered on the field, expecting what everyone else in America expected at that point in time. And yet, on the road as a massive underdog with a chance to win the game by merely gaining two and a half yards, Norvell sent his kicking unit onto the field instead of going for the win. What ensued was both entirely unsurprising and completely deserved. Colorado scored a touchdown and a two-point conversion in the second overtime period, then stonewalled the Rams on their final possession to escape with a 43-35 victory. And all of Norvell’s midweek smack talk about Sanders’ hat and sunglasses was for naught.

— The Big 12 is atrocious, truly atrocious. At this point, it’ll almost be an embarrassment if Oklahoma can’t make it to Arlington in this pillow fight of a conference. We’ve already discussed Texas’ struggles with Wyoming and Kansas State’s loss to Mizzou, but somehow that’s only the tip of the iceberg here. Kansas had to hang on in the final minutes to knock off Nevada, and hardly anybody noticed because of what had transpired earlier in the day. If I told you Iowa State went to Athens and took it on the chin, or that they couldn’t get past OU, you wouldn’t bat an eye. But what if I told you that the OU in question was Ohio University, and the Athens in question was in Ohio and not in Georgia? What remains of the Cyclones’ roster, i.e. the few dozen players who aren’t degenerate gamblers, lost 10-7 Saturday at the hands of a program that hadn’t beaten a Power 5 opponent since knocking off Kansas in September 2017. And what if I told you that Cincinnati lost in overtime to Miami? Not exactly something to write home about. But alas, we aren’t talking about John Ruiz’s C-Note Canes here. We’re talking about Miami of Ohio, which hadn’t beaten Cincinnati since a guy named Ben Roethlisberger was playing quarterback for the Redhawks. And somehow, SOMEHOW, the fact that two Big 12 programs (each less than three years removed from playing in New Year’s Six bowls, at that) both lost to MAC schools wasn’t the weekend’s most damning scourge on the Big 12. And that finally brings us to the glorious climax!

It’s the Oklahoma State Cowboys and there’s really no contest this week. I am too young to have witnessed the dark days of the pre-Barry Sanders era, the Pokes’ dismal world before Boone Pickens and his oversized novelty checks came into the picture. But if there’s ever been a lower point in the history of the Oklahoma State football program than Saturday, I’d have to hear a pretty ironclad case to believe it. South Alabama, which had exactly one win over a Power 5 program in its less-than-storied history, came to town and absolutely humiliated Mike Gundy and his three-headed swamp monster at quarterback. The Jaguars led 23-0 at halftime, and when the clock finally hit zeroes, the Cowboys were on the wrong end of a 33-7 thrashing that would have instantly torpedoed the job security of any other head coach in college football.

But as it is, Mike Gundy not only has the Oklahoma State administration by the proverbial balls, but he’s actively defying the Powers That Be to try and cross him. In his nineteenth year at the helm of the program, Gundy has effectively issued the ultimate challenge to any and all higher authorities at Oklahoma State: MAH WALK-ON SON’S GOWNA PLAY QUARTERBACK AND IF YOU DON’T LAHKE IT, DO SOMETHIN’ ABOUT IT. He’s got the market’s top reporter in his pocket to be his PR shill, which helps his case, and he’s actually played his hand pretty beautifully here. The rest of the Big 12 might be so bad that the Pokes could actually win seven games, which will always be enough to quell any doubts about who is Daddy in the realm of Oklahoma State athletics. In a college football landscape that changes with the wind, Mike Gundy simply is. Plenty of Pokes had trouble sleeping last night when their heads hit their bright orange pillowcases. I can assure you Gundy wasn’t among that group. He knows full well that his check is going to clear every month until he’s ready to ride off into the Oklahoma sunset.

Have an outstanding work week, folks, and we’ll talk again next Sunday.